Dave Basulto from filmmakingCentral inadvertantly turned me oin to posterous from a Facebook post... So here I am, trying it out and uploading a random picture of a Pentax K-5... Is it the future of production for me... Hmmm... Might well be... Stay tuned for more developments...
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Testing out posterous...
Monday, October 25, 2010
Making Offers...
FROM JULY 2007...
I spent this weekend on research, looking into advice on how to best make ‘offers’ to actors. What that really means is how to attach an actor to your project by making them a financial offer in writing. It’s one of those classic Catch-22 situations. Nobody will finance your project without actors attached and you catch attach actors without making offers - which takes money. It’s a hard lesson to learn and a tough thing to get around. If you happen to know Tom Cruise and you can get him to read your script - then you’re in great shape - but for the rest of us, it means using our personal connections to deal with the talent directly. Simply put, the best way around all this, is to work with actors you know personally. Okay, so they might not be the most famous people in the world - but if they know you, they might read your script. Getting your material read is key to putting a project together and attaching actors.
Talking of reading, my research took me to a number of books that were helpful. In reverse order you might want to find copies of…
“From Reel to Deal: Everything You Need to Create a Successful Independent Film” by Dov S-S Simens.
This is basically Dov Simens ‘three-day film school’ as a book. It takes you through everything from putting a script together to finding finance, your director and actually shooting. It is a good book, but doesn’t totally take into acount the politics of indie film or the Agents/Managers you will probably have to interact with.
“Independent Feature Film Production : A Complete Guide from Concept Through Distribution” by Gregory Goodell.
A more sophisticated take on production than the Simens book. The sections on finance and distribution are extremely smart and direct you around various hidden pitfalls. Numerous industry professionals have told me that this book was invaluable to them.
Rebel Without a Crew: Or How a 23-Year-Old Filmmaker With $7,000 Became a Hollywood Player’ by Robert Rodriguez.
From screenwriter/director Robert Rodriguez this volume is both entertaining and literally crammed full of insider secrets. You will find strategies and methods that are intelligent and in some cases marvellously devious. Regardless of whether you will deploy what Rodriguez suggests - certainly a great book and worth a look.
I spent this weekend on research, looking into advice on how to best make ‘offers’ to actors. What that really means is how to attach an actor to your project by making them a financial offer in writing. It’s one of those classic Catch-22 situations. Nobody will finance your project without actors attached and you catch attach actors without making offers - which takes money. It’s a hard lesson to learn and a tough thing to get around. If you happen to know Tom Cruise and you can get him to read your script - then you’re in great shape - but for the rest of us, it means using our personal connections to deal with the talent directly. Simply put, the best way around all this, is to work with actors you know personally. Okay, so they might not be the most famous people in the world - but if they know you, they might read your script. Getting your material read is key to putting a project together and attaching actors.
Talking of reading, my research took me to a number of books that were helpful. In reverse order you might want to find copies of…
“From Reel to Deal: Everything You Need to Create a Successful Independent Film” by Dov S-S Simens.
This is basically Dov Simens ‘three-day film school’ as a book. It takes you through everything from putting a script together to finding finance, your director and actually shooting. It is a good book, but doesn’t totally take into acount the politics of indie film or the Agents/Managers you will probably have to interact with.
“Independent Feature Film Production : A Complete Guide from Concept Through Distribution” by Gregory Goodell.
A more sophisticated take on production than the Simens book. The sections on finance and distribution are extremely smart and direct you around various hidden pitfalls. Numerous industry professionals have told me that this book was invaluable to them.
Rebel Without a Crew: Or How a 23-Year-Old Filmmaker With $7,000 Became a Hollywood Player’ by Robert Rodriguez.
From screenwriter/director Robert Rodriguez this volume is both entertaining and literally crammed full of insider secrets. You will find strategies and methods that are intelligent and in some cases marvellously devious. Regardless of whether you will deploy what Rodriguez suggests - certainly a great book and worth a look.
Driving dialogue (File under Screenwriting - part one)…
From JULY 2007...
I learnt the most about screenwriting when I was first doing production rewrites over at Franchise Pictures. Rarely do any screenwriting books really tell you the nuts and bolts about writing - at least how it actually pertains to making a movie. Sure all the books talk about scenes, characters, jeopardy and conflict - but when it comes down to it, one of the most important things about a script is its feasibility. Yes. I mean: how feasible is it to shoot this script..?
That’s why I came up with “File Under Screenwriting” which will basically be a series of screenwriting tips that I will post every Thursday. What I’m aiming for is all the stuff that they don’t (usually) tell you in the books or the classroom. Simple, practical information that will enhance the feasibility of your script actually getting made. Of course if you’re working at the top Studio level - being practical isn’t always an issue. I mean, let’s face it - Studios have no problem building unfeasible worlds and shooting ‘bad’ dialogue in hard to reach places - regardless of cost. The same goes for Indie Producers with unlimited resources. Good sense and practicallity doesn’t neccessarily drive them, either.
However, for the rest of the world, which includes you and me - writing a shootable script is key - which brings me to the meat of this post…. Driving dialogue. Or should I say; dailogue while driving, or in certain kinds of exteriors.
One of my favorite films of recent memory is COLLATERAL starring Tom Cruise (pictured above) and Jamie Foxx. For the most part it’s two men driving around in a cab and talking. Michael Mann pulls this off with spectacular style and the use of digital technology. It looks and sounds great. For you though, on your indie movie, I say: “DON’T DO IT.”
Writing scenes that take place in moving vehicles is always a mistake. It is hard to film a conversation in a car - not just the physical difficulty - but there are ALWAYS audio issues and it will rarely look as good as you think it should. As a rule of thumb - try not to set more than one dialogue scene in a moving vehicle. I can hear you saying - well the people in my movie are always talking in the car (and what about LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE?). There are many creative ways around this. Also in terms of production the feasibility of your screenplay will improve considerably if you limit the hard to film dialogue.
Let’s look at some obvious fixes…
i) Have the characters talk before they get into the vehicle.
ii) Have them talk in the vehicle, before they drive away.
iii) Find a way to switch the scene to an interior without random vehicular sound.
iv) Start thinking about what makes a scene simpler to shoot as well as being good drama.
The same is true of certain kinds of exteriors. Avoid setting dialogue scenes on busy streets. Permits are costly and even if you’re ’stealing’ the location the ‘bad’ sound will kill your scene. Never sets scenes in aiports. Almost impossible to film there, these days. You see my point - being practical in writing your script makes the script easier to shoot and scripts that are easier to shoot are easier to get funded. No. No. No. I’m not suggesting you stop being creative. I’m suggesting the opposite. Be as creative as you can be. Be smart and write scenes that can actually be shot without a mass of headaches. Practical is good if you do it creatively.
I learnt the most about screenwriting when I was first doing production rewrites over at Franchise Pictures. Rarely do any screenwriting books really tell you the nuts and bolts about writing - at least how it actually pertains to making a movie. Sure all the books talk about scenes, characters, jeopardy and conflict - but when it comes down to it, one of the most important things about a script is its feasibility. Yes. I mean: how feasible is it to shoot this script..?
That’s why I came up with “File Under Screenwriting” which will basically be a series of screenwriting tips that I will post every Thursday. What I’m aiming for is all the stuff that they don’t (usually) tell you in the books or the classroom. Simple, practical information that will enhance the feasibility of your script actually getting made. Of course if you’re working at the top Studio level - being practical isn’t always an issue. I mean, let’s face it - Studios have no problem building unfeasible worlds and shooting ‘bad’ dialogue in hard to reach places - regardless of cost. The same goes for Indie Producers with unlimited resources. Good sense and practicallity doesn’t neccessarily drive them, either.
However, for the rest of the world, which includes you and me - writing a shootable script is key - which brings me to the meat of this post…. Driving dialogue. Or should I say; dailogue while driving, or in certain kinds of exteriors.
One of my favorite films of recent memory is COLLATERAL starring Tom Cruise (pictured above) and Jamie Foxx. For the most part it’s two men driving around in a cab and talking. Michael Mann pulls this off with spectacular style and the use of digital technology. It looks and sounds great. For you though, on your indie movie, I say: “DON’T DO IT.”
Writing scenes that take place in moving vehicles is always a mistake. It is hard to film a conversation in a car - not just the physical difficulty - but there are ALWAYS audio issues and it will rarely look as good as you think it should. As a rule of thumb - try not to set more than one dialogue scene in a moving vehicle. I can hear you saying - well the people in my movie are always talking in the car (and what about LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE?). There are many creative ways around this. Also in terms of production the feasibility of your screenplay will improve considerably if you limit the hard to film dialogue.
Let’s look at some obvious fixes…
i) Have the characters talk before they get into the vehicle.
ii) Have them talk in the vehicle, before they drive away.
iii) Find a way to switch the scene to an interior without random vehicular sound.
iv) Start thinking about what makes a scene simpler to shoot as well as being good drama.
The same is true of certain kinds of exteriors. Avoid setting dialogue scenes on busy streets. Permits are costly and even if you’re ’stealing’ the location the ‘bad’ sound will kill your scene. Never sets scenes in aiports. Almost impossible to film there, these days. You see my point - being practical in writing your script makes the script easier to shoot and scripts that are easier to shoot are easier to get funded. No. No. No. I’m not suggesting you stop being creative. I’m suggesting the opposite. Be as creative as you can be. Be smart and write scenes that can actually be shot without a mass of headaches. Practical is good if you do it creatively.
Delivering a working draft of a screenplay…
From JULY 2007...
We are finally done with our BEAT SHEET for Eight Rivers, which was put together by myself, the director and another one of the producers. During the process of creating this beat sheet, we certainly found the spine of the story and a number of interesting facets that have improved where we are going with it and what we are trying to say. If you are writing a project with a group of people - as you indeed might be - having everybody in agreement on the beats of the story is key. If you were building a house, the beat sheet would serve as your blueprint, more or less. All your dialogue and character development should actually arise from the beats. It’s NOT the other way around. In fact your character development, dialogue and action should ALL be perfectly integrated into your story beats. The master of this was the late, great Paddy Chayefsky pictured above.
So - on to a functinal system for delivering a working draft of your screenplay. Again, the key is to have you and your co-conspirators on the same page. I have found, over the years, the easiest way to do this is to deliver 10 pages at a time over a period of 10 days - meaning that you can have a 100 page working draft in ten working days. Basically, you get up early - write 10 pages by ‘close of business’ and submit them to your producer/director. The group reviews your pages, you collectively make changes and repeat the process until you have your first, working draft. Sounds simple? In principle it is. And if you have a beat sheet to work from the process gets much easier. But first off, you must be in agreement on the four major beats…
i) Where does the story start?
ii) End of act one turning point.
iii) End of act two turning point.
iv) How do we end this story?
Those are your four tent poles, so to speak. Ignore them at your peril. Having them solid and smart will improve your working draft no end. Having them vague and unsteady - you’re in for a world of pain…
So there you have it. 10 pages a day for 10 days. It can be done. Alternatively, a more sedate approach is to deliver the script one act at a time - basically 30 page segments. This way, instead of the review process happening every evening - it only happens three times during your first draft schedule. However, I would still suggest trying to write each of your three acts over 3 days - or 3.5 days, even. Momentum has always been very important for me. It will add to your level of focus and remove any sense of distraction.
Remember - NOW is the time to tell your story.
We are finally done with our BEAT SHEET for Eight Rivers, which was put together by myself, the director and another one of the producers. During the process of creating this beat sheet, we certainly found the spine of the story and a number of interesting facets that have improved where we are going with it and what we are trying to say. If you are writing a project with a group of people - as you indeed might be - having everybody in agreement on the beats of the story is key. If you were building a house, the beat sheet would serve as your blueprint, more or less. All your dialogue and character development should actually arise from the beats. It’s NOT the other way around. In fact your character development, dialogue and action should ALL be perfectly integrated into your story beats. The master of this was the late, great Paddy Chayefsky pictured above.
So - on to a functinal system for delivering a working draft of your screenplay. Again, the key is to have you and your co-conspirators on the same page. I have found, over the years, the easiest way to do this is to deliver 10 pages at a time over a period of 10 days - meaning that you can have a 100 page working draft in ten working days. Basically, you get up early - write 10 pages by ‘close of business’ and submit them to your producer/director. The group reviews your pages, you collectively make changes and repeat the process until you have your first, working draft. Sounds simple? In principle it is. And if you have a beat sheet to work from the process gets much easier. But first off, you must be in agreement on the four major beats…
i) Where does the story start?
ii) End of act one turning point.
iii) End of act two turning point.
iv) How do we end this story?
Those are your four tent poles, so to speak. Ignore them at your peril. Having them solid and smart will improve your working draft no end. Having them vague and unsteady - you’re in for a world of pain…
So there you have it. 10 pages a day for 10 days. It can be done. Alternatively, a more sedate approach is to deliver the script one act at a time - basically 30 page segments. This way, instead of the review process happening every evening - it only happens three times during your first draft schedule. However, I would still suggest trying to write each of your three acts over 3 days - or 3.5 days, even. Momentum has always been very important for me. It will add to your level of focus and remove any sense of distraction.
Remember - NOW is the time to tell your story.
Maybe you should find a band and make an art movie…
From August 2007... (And strangely prophetic)...
I have often discussed the possibility of making an art movie with Sean McLusky. But cost has always been an issue - even in the early days of digital video. However, as London is becoming an increasingly desirable location cost isn’t such an issue anymore. It is early days, but we have started to put together the UNTITLED BATTLE OF TRAFALGAR PROJECT. This would basically feature Sean’s band, Trafalgar, in a narrative somewhat reminiscent of A HARD DAY’S NIGHT or the lesser known MAGIC CHRISTIAN. In short, the band (Trafalgar) would travel across a post-apocalyptic version of London - pursued by various villains, policemen and sexy girls. (Ringo Starr is pictured above with Racquel Welch in THE MAGIC CHRISTIAN).
Thus far we have discussed the possibility of cameo roles with the likes of Les McKeown (Bay City Rollers), Jarvis (Pulp) and Shaun Ryder (Happy Mondays). Of course, the members of Trafalgar would occupy the most screen time. Early next month, after Sean’s Shoreditch Free Festival (featuring Har Mar Superstar and Fab Moretti from the Strokes), the Art Movie concept will be pitched to the principals at I-Force Films… Exciting stuff…
I have often discussed the possibility of making an art movie with Sean McLusky. But cost has always been an issue - even in the early days of digital video. However, as London is becoming an increasingly desirable location cost isn’t such an issue anymore. It is early days, but we have started to put together the UNTITLED BATTLE OF TRAFALGAR PROJECT. This would basically feature Sean’s band, Trafalgar, in a narrative somewhat reminiscent of A HARD DAY’S NIGHT or the lesser known MAGIC CHRISTIAN. In short, the band (Trafalgar) would travel across a post-apocalyptic version of London - pursued by various villains, policemen and sexy girls. (Ringo Starr is pictured above with Racquel Welch in THE MAGIC CHRISTIAN).
Thus far we have discussed the possibility of cameo roles with the likes of Les McKeown (Bay City Rollers), Jarvis (Pulp) and Shaun Ryder (Happy Mondays). Of course, the members of Trafalgar would occupy the most screen time. Early next month, after Sean’s Shoreditch Free Festival (featuring Har Mar Superstar and Fab Moretti from the Strokes), the Art Movie concept will be pitched to the principals at I-Force Films… Exciting stuff…
Learn the lessons of Nollywood
From March 2008...
As my producer friend, Karl Hunter is winging his way to Ocho Rios, to begin setting-up offices for I-FORCE FILMS in Jamaica - I thought today’s post could revolve around a discussion of Nollywood - Nigeria’s own brand of Hollywood or even the currently popular Bollywood. Karl came across the Nollywood phenomena during his travels in Africa. It was interesting to us both how digital technology had been adopted there to create a mass of small, local movies. These small, local movies are available in shops and from street-vendors all across Nigeria as DVDs and VCDs. An average movie will sell 50,000 copies. A popular movie may sell as many as 200,000 units. So at 250 Niara (that’s $2) a piece - producers have the possibility of ample profit - time and time again.
In thirteen years, Nollywood has grown from a tiny cottage industry to a multi-million dollar business, employing thousands of people. Nollywood features are, in some cases, issue based meledromas. They tackle topics such as AIDS, corruption, womens rights and the daily difficulties of life in Africa. They are simplistic in terms of production values and often have the texture of telenovelas - however, this hasn’t impacted their mass appeal or profitability. Different regions produce movies in local languages, such as Hausa in the north of Nigeria and Yoruba in the southeast. English language productions are also popular.
We can learn lessons from Nollywood. Here are my five Nollywood top tips…
1) ISSUE BASED MOVIES WILL ALWAYS FIND AN AUDIENCE.
You should write stories with resonance for yourself and your peers.
2) NON ACTORS CAN WORK IN DRAMA, AS LONG AS THEY REMAIN AUTHENTIC.
So - yes - you can cast your friends. But if you need to cast a grandfather - cast a real grandfather, perhaps even your own.
3) EXPLOIT THE TECHNOLOGY TO YOUR BEST ADVANTAGE.
As filmmakers, we always want the latest and greatest toys. Do we need them? No! This is a myth sold to us by manufacturers. You can still make TODAY’s movie with YESTERDAY’s incarnation of digital.
4) YOU CAN TRIUMPH REGARDLESS OF YOUR SURROUNDINGS.
Making movies in Nigeria is hard. Much harder than making movies in San Diego or South Philly. Where ever you are, regardless of surroundings, you can be a filmmaker and a successful one at that. All you have to do is apply yourself, work hard and believe it. Yes! Believe it.
5) SELF DISTRIBUTION WORKS IF YOU’RE SMART.
We all have delusions of theatrical releases and festival success. That’s great, but not always practical. However, making DVDs is cheap. Find a way to promote your movie on-line and in local stores. Try to move product and create a buzz. Okay, you might not sell 50,000 copies - but maybe, just maybe you can sell 5,000 DVDs for $5 a piece, over one year. That’s $25k - and if you made your picture for $10k, percentage-wise you’re doing much better than most of Hollywood.
As my producer friend, Karl Hunter is winging his way to Ocho Rios, to begin setting-up offices for I-FORCE FILMS in Jamaica - I thought today’s post could revolve around a discussion of Nollywood - Nigeria’s own brand of Hollywood or even the currently popular Bollywood. Karl came across the Nollywood phenomena during his travels in Africa. It was interesting to us both how digital technology had been adopted there to create a mass of small, local movies. These small, local movies are available in shops and from street-vendors all across Nigeria as DVDs and VCDs. An average movie will sell 50,000 copies. A popular movie may sell as many as 200,000 units. So at 250 Niara (that’s $2) a piece - producers have the possibility of ample profit - time and time again.
In thirteen years, Nollywood has grown from a tiny cottage industry to a multi-million dollar business, employing thousands of people. Nollywood features are, in some cases, issue based meledromas. They tackle topics such as AIDS, corruption, womens rights and the daily difficulties of life in Africa. They are simplistic in terms of production values and often have the texture of telenovelas - however, this hasn’t impacted their mass appeal or profitability. Different regions produce movies in local languages, such as Hausa in the north of Nigeria and Yoruba in the southeast. English language productions are also popular.
We can learn lessons from Nollywood. Here are my five Nollywood top tips…
1) ISSUE BASED MOVIES WILL ALWAYS FIND AN AUDIENCE.
You should write stories with resonance for yourself and your peers.
2) NON ACTORS CAN WORK IN DRAMA, AS LONG AS THEY REMAIN AUTHENTIC.
So - yes - you can cast your friends. But if you need to cast a grandfather - cast a real grandfather, perhaps even your own.
3) EXPLOIT THE TECHNOLOGY TO YOUR BEST ADVANTAGE.
As filmmakers, we always want the latest and greatest toys. Do we need them? No! This is a myth sold to us by manufacturers. You can still make TODAY’s movie with YESTERDAY’s incarnation of digital.
4) YOU CAN TRIUMPH REGARDLESS OF YOUR SURROUNDINGS.
Making movies in Nigeria is hard. Much harder than making movies in San Diego or South Philly. Where ever you are, regardless of surroundings, you can be a filmmaker and a successful one at that. All you have to do is apply yourself, work hard and believe it. Yes! Believe it.
5) SELF DISTRIBUTION WORKS IF YOU’RE SMART.
We all have delusions of theatrical releases and festival success. That’s great, but not always practical. However, making DVDs is cheap. Find a way to promote your movie on-line and in local stores. Try to move product and create a buzz. Okay, you might not sell 50,000 copies - but maybe, just maybe you can sell 5,000 DVDs for $5 a piece, over one year. That’s $25k - and if you made your picture for $10k, percentage-wise you’re doing much better than most of Hollywood.
The writing is all in the re-write… (File under screenwriting - part nine)
FROM OCTOBER 2007...
So you have finished another draft of your screenplay and you have received notes from your collaborators. This is where the real work begins. This is what separates the real writers from the rank amateurs. The re-writing process is grueling. It will takes weeks and sometimes months. You will change one scene which means you will have to change five others. You will agonize over one piece of dialogue, but realize that it doesn’t work because of the proceeding story ‘beat’ not because of the line itself.
In the following few days, I am going to try a new system myself. I am still in the process of formulating it - but sufficed to say this ’system’ is basically a series of key refinements that you might try deploying in 72 hours.
The ‘Second Chance System’ as I’m calling it, is a way to give a flawed script a second chance and hopefully take it from ‘zero to hero’ over a weekend. Simply put - if you start on Friday, by Monday afternoon you will have a new working draft.
The S-C-S is a three step process. You should stick to it closely and the more brutal you are on your text - the better it should work. I say SHOULD - because, as I described earlier, this system is still in its’ beta-test phase. If it works out well, I’m sure that I’ll be basing an entire book on it. Yeah - right. Only joking. Anyway, on to the system itself.
STEP ONE - MAKE SURE THE STRUCTURE IS SOUND
Do your opening scene and end of act turning points work? By this I mean, do your opening scenes set the tone and texture of the movie? Do they make sense? Do they fit? Do we know what kind of movie this is. Sounds silly, I know - but if this is a comedy - make sure that the opening is funny. If it’s a thriller - have us be thrilled as we read. Have us hanging on the edge of our seats.
To fix the opening scenes(if they’re not working) I suggest that you simplify. Take the beat, the style, the flavor and CUT IT DOWN. You probably have a great, smart ‘bit of business’ in there and the way to fix or find it is to REMOVE all extraneous stuff. Don’t have cluttered prose. Have simplicity. Have white space.
The same is true for your end of act turning points and your ride to the climax. Think of these beats on an emotional level. Do they make people feel? That’s the question to ask. Are we feeling the difficulty that the characters are in? Are we rooting for them? Do these beats have any emotional resonance? Again to find that resonance WE MUST SIMPLIFY. What is an image or a ‘bit of business’ that will end the act most powerfully and have us desperate to find out what happens next. Well, you probably have it. It’s probably there - just obscured by too much dialogue or description. Find the power of those turning points and present them as simply and viscerally as you can. Be genuine and honest - and at that point when you connect with the text emotionally - it’s fixed. It’s working. So, move onto step two…
STEP TWO - LOSE BEATS THAT DON’T WORK (AND COMBINE OTHERS THAT ARE TOO LONG)…
When you have spent a day on fixing your structure you are ready to spend a day on the beats of your story. This part is where you have to be perhaps most brutal. In your script, there will be fun beats that don’t quite work. Usually these beats don’t work because they’re meandering or not making the story progress. Don’t try to fix these extraneous beats - simply remove them. Yes. Hit delete. Make them go away. The same is true of beats that take three scenes. Can you combine these three scenes to communicate one beat - Yes! Of course you can. So put the three scenes into one scene in the most economic way you can. As you begin to remove beats and streamline others - something miraculous will happen. The story will take on underlying resonance that you didn’t see before. The cluttered scenes now fly by. It reads much faster. Much punchier. When you have removed ALL extraneous beats that slow the flow (or make it harder to read) - move onto step three… You’ll know this point. It’ll be late at night on day two. You’ll scroll through a much shorter, tighter script and you’ll start see where dialogue cues don’t work.
STEP THREE - MAKE YOUR DIALOGUE SPARKLE…
All well written scripts look rather similar. There are short descriptive passages that separate fast, percussive dialogue. There’s lots of white space, so your eye is drawn to the middle of the page and the dialogue. This is what you want to do on day three. It has two purposes. The first is fairly obvious and it’s in the title of this step. ‘Make your dialogue sparkle.’ How do we do that? We refine and we simplify - yes - but we work it like it’s Jazz. What I mean by this, is we make the dialogue a riff on the action and the beats. The dialogue is your off-beat. It’s purposes is to inform the action - NOT TO DESCRIBE IT. To fix dialogue in a scene, I suggest that you remove the first two lines and the last two lines. What does that mean? Well, you start after the characters have entered the room and you finish before they leave. It makes a dialogue scene seem more immediate and in some cases more jarring. That’s jarring in a good way. By removing openings and endings you shorten scenes, make them play faster AND GET TO THE HEART OF THE MATTER. In the end, dialogue is all about heart and emotion. It can be as simple as the phrase: ‘Oh my God’ when a character sees something marvelous or something horrific. It can be as complex as Hamlet’s soliloquy. But regardless of which - NEVER use THREE lines when ONE will do. Brevity and economy should be your watchwords here. Now polish that dialogue. Make it crisp. Make it shine. And make it look clean.
Yes - looking clean is the last part of the S-C-S. How the script looks is almost as important as how it reads. Go for white space where-ever you can. Remove all the ‘continueds’ and ‘cut tos’ unless they are absolutely necessary. Now proof read and spell check. And in 72 hours - you should have a new workable draft. Work fast. Respond emotionally. And if you get stuck, just make a note and come back to that sticking point when you have reached the end of that particular pass. In this process momentum and honesty is everything.
So you have finished another draft of your screenplay and you have received notes from your collaborators. This is where the real work begins. This is what separates the real writers from the rank amateurs. The re-writing process is grueling. It will takes weeks and sometimes months. You will change one scene which means you will have to change five others. You will agonize over one piece of dialogue, but realize that it doesn’t work because of the proceeding story ‘beat’ not because of the line itself.
In the following few days, I am going to try a new system myself. I am still in the process of formulating it - but sufficed to say this ’system’ is basically a series of key refinements that you might try deploying in 72 hours.
The ‘Second Chance System’ as I’m calling it, is a way to give a flawed script a second chance and hopefully take it from ‘zero to hero’ over a weekend. Simply put - if you start on Friday, by Monday afternoon you will have a new working draft.
The S-C-S is a three step process. You should stick to it closely and the more brutal you are on your text - the better it should work. I say SHOULD - because, as I described earlier, this system is still in its’ beta-test phase. If it works out well, I’m sure that I’ll be basing an entire book on it. Yeah - right. Only joking. Anyway, on to the system itself.
STEP ONE - MAKE SURE THE STRUCTURE IS SOUND
Do your opening scene and end of act turning points work? By this I mean, do your opening scenes set the tone and texture of the movie? Do they make sense? Do they fit? Do we know what kind of movie this is. Sounds silly, I know - but if this is a comedy - make sure that the opening is funny. If it’s a thriller - have us be thrilled as we read. Have us hanging on the edge of our seats.
To fix the opening scenes(if they’re not working) I suggest that you simplify. Take the beat, the style, the flavor and CUT IT DOWN. You probably have a great, smart ‘bit of business’ in there and the way to fix or find it is to REMOVE all extraneous stuff. Don’t have cluttered prose. Have simplicity. Have white space.
The same is true for your end of act turning points and your ride to the climax. Think of these beats on an emotional level. Do they make people feel? That’s the question to ask. Are we feeling the difficulty that the characters are in? Are we rooting for them? Do these beats have any emotional resonance? Again to find that resonance WE MUST SIMPLIFY. What is an image or a ‘bit of business’ that will end the act most powerfully and have us desperate to find out what happens next. Well, you probably have it. It’s probably there - just obscured by too much dialogue or description. Find the power of those turning points and present them as simply and viscerally as you can. Be genuine and honest - and at that point when you connect with the text emotionally - it’s fixed. It’s working. So, move onto step two…
STEP TWO - LOSE BEATS THAT DON’T WORK (AND COMBINE OTHERS THAT ARE TOO LONG)…
When you have spent a day on fixing your structure you are ready to spend a day on the beats of your story. This part is where you have to be perhaps most brutal. In your script, there will be fun beats that don’t quite work. Usually these beats don’t work because they’re meandering or not making the story progress. Don’t try to fix these extraneous beats - simply remove them. Yes. Hit delete. Make them go away. The same is true of beats that take three scenes. Can you combine these three scenes to communicate one beat - Yes! Of course you can. So put the three scenes into one scene in the most economic way you can. As you begin to remove beats and streamline others - something miraculous will happen. The story will take on underlying resonance that you didn’t see before. The cluttered scenes now fly by. It reads much faster. Much punchier. When you have removed ALL extraneous beats that slow the flow (or make it harder to read) - move onto step three… You’ll know this point. It’ll be late at night on day two. You’ll scroll through a much shorter, tighter script and you’ll start see where dialogue cues don’t work.
STEP THREE - MAKE YOUR DIALOGUE SPARKLE…
All well written scripts look rather similar. There are short descriptive passages that separate fast, percussive dialogue. There’s lots of white space, so your eye is drawn to the middle of the page and the dialogue. This is what you want to do on day three. It has two purposes. The first is fairly obvious and it’s in the title of this step. ‘Make your dialogue sparkle.’ How do we do that? We refine and we simplify - yes - but we work it like it’s Jazz. What I mean by this, is we make the dialogue a riff on the action and the beats. The dialogue is your off-beat. It’s purposes is to inform the action - NOT TO DESCRIBE IT. To fix dialogue in a scene, I suggest that you remove the first two lines and the last two lines. What does that mean? Well, you start after the characters have entered the room and you finish before they leave. It makes a dialogue scene seem more immediate and in some cases more jarring. That’s jarring in a good way. By removing openings and endings you shorten scenes, make them play faster AND GET TO THE HEART OF THE MATTER. In the end, dialogue is all about heart and emotion. It can be as simple as the phrase: ‘Oh my God’ when a character sees something marvelous or something horrific. It can be as complex as Hamlet’s soliloquy. But regardless of which - NEVER use THREE lines when ONE will do. Brevity and economy should be your watchwords here. Now polish that dialogue. Make it crisp. Make it shine. And make it look clean.
Yes - looking clean is the last part of the S-C-S. How the script looks is almost as important as how it reads. Go for white space where-ever you can. Remove all the ‘continueds’ and ‘cut tos’ unless they are absolutely necessary. Now proof read and spell check. And in 72 hours - you should have a new workable draft. Work fast. Respond emotionally. And if you get stuck, just make a note and come back to that sticking point when you have reached the end of that particular pass. In this process momentum and honesty is everything.
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